Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Toddler Rules

I was cleaning out some files today and I found this old note about Toddler Rules. It made me laugh, so I thought it might make you laugh too:) I am not sure of an author, the list I have has none listed. Enjoy.

TODDLER RULES
  • If it is off, I must turn it on.
  • If it is folded, I must unfold it.
  • If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
  • If it is a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
  • If it is high, it must be reached.
  • If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
  • If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
  • If it has leaves, they must be picked.
  • If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
  • If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
  • If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
  • If it is closed, it must be opened.
  • If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
  • If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
  • If it is a pencil, it must write on the refigerator, monitor, or table, or walls.
  • If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
  • If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
  • If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
  • If it is a stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
  • If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
  • If Mommy's hand are full, I must be carried.
  • If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
  • If it is paper, it must be torn.
  • If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
  • If the volume is low, it must go high.
  • If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
  • If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
  • If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
  • If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
  • If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
  • If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
  • If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
  • If it is not food, it must be tasted.
  • If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
  • If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
  • If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
  • If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I AM A TODDLER!!!

Very Cute:) I hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day!

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